Kids Jokes

• When Johnny had a new sister, he became envious of the attention she was getting. One day while his mother was nursing the baby, Johnny was getting unyielding about being on mom's lap. Mom wasn't able to deal with both children at that time and told Johnny to go wait for her. He then asked his mom: "Mommy, can you please put Clara back in your tummy now?"

• A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."

• A mother and her young son returned from the grocery shop and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "Therefore I'm looking for the seal."

• Can people predict the future with cards?
  My mother can.
  Really?
  Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen When my father gets back home.

• "Mom, when I grow up will I be your mom?"

• My mom had been getting on my little sisters about not picking up their clothes. I was sitting in my room, and heard my mom say, "Who left all this underwear all over the floor?"
  As innocently as an angel, my sister Anne replied, "The Panty Fairy came and left us presents"!

• After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a worn out blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her tolerance grew thin. At last she put a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with severe warnings. While leaving the room, she overheard her three-year-old say with a shaky voice, "Who was 'that'?"