WHY GOD MADE MOMS

Answers given by 2nd grade school children to the following questions:

Why did God make mothers?

1. She's the only one who knows where the scotch tape is.

2. Mostly to clean the house.

3. To help us out of there when we were getting born.

How did God make mothers?

1. He used dirt, just like for the rest of us.

2. Magic plus super powers and a lot of stirring.

3. God made my mom just the same like he made me. He just used bigger parts.

What ingredients are mothers made of?

1. God makes mothers out of clouds and angel hair and everything nice in the world and one dab of mean.

2. They had to get their start from men's bones. Then they mostly use string, I think.

Why did God give you your mother and not some other mom?

1. We're related.

2. God knew she likes me a lot more than other people's mom like me.

What kind of a little girl was your mom?

1. My mom has always been my mom and none of that other stuff.

2.. I don't know because I wasn't there, but my guess would be pretty bossy.

3. They say she used to be nice.

What did mom need to know about dad before she married him?

1. His last name.

2. She had to know his background. Like is he a crook? Does he get drunk on beer?

3. Does he make at least $800 a year? Did he say NO to drugs and YES to chores?

Why did your mom marry your dad?

1. My dad makes the best spaghetti in the world. And my mom eats a lot.

2. She got too old to do anything else with him.

3. My grandma says that mom didn't have her thinking cap on.

Who's the boss at your house?

1. Mom doesn't want to be boss, but she has to because dad's such a goof ball.

2. Mom. You can tell by room inspection. She sees the stuff under the bed.

3. I guess mom is, but only because she has a lot more to do than dad.

What's the difference between moms and dads?

1. Moms work at work and work at home and dads just go to work at work.

2. Moms know how to talk to teachers without scaring them.

3. Dads are taller and stronger, but moms have all the real power 'cause that's who you got to ask if you want to sleep over at your friends.

4. Moms have magic, they make you feel better without medicine.

What does your mom do in her spare time?

1. Mothers don't do spare time.

2. To hear her tell it, she pays bills all day long.

What would it take to make your mom perfect?

1. On the inside she's already perfect. Outside, I think some kind of plastic surgery.

2. Diet. You know, her hair. I'd diet, maybe blue.

If you could change one thing about your mom, what would it be?

1. She has this weird thing about me keeping my room clean.. I'd get rid of that.

2. I'd make my mom smarter. Then she would know it was my sister who did it not me.

3. I would like for her to get rid of those invisible eyes on the back of her head.

Kids Jokes

• When Johnny had a new sister, he became envious of the attention she was getting. One day while his mother was nursing the baby, Johnny was getting unyielding about being on mom's lap. Mom wasn't able to deal with both children at that time and told Johnny to go wait for her. He then asked his mom: "Mommy, can you please put Clara back in your tummy now?"

• A Sunday school teacher asked her class why Joseph and Mary took Jesus with them to Jerusalem. A small child replied: "They couldn't get a baby-sitter."

• A mother and her young son returned from the grocery shop and began putting away the groceries. The boy opened the box of animal crackers and spread them all over the table. "What are you doing?" his mother asked. "The box says you can't eat them if the seal is broken," the boy explained. "Therefore I'm looking for the seal."

• Can people predict the future with cards?
  My mother can.
  Really?
  Yes, she takes one look at my report card and tells me what will happen When my father gets back home.

• "Mom, when I grow up will I be your mom?"

• My mom had been getting on my little sisters about not picking up their clothes. I was sitting in my room, and heard my mom say, "Who left all this underwear all over the floor?"
  As innocently as an angel, my sister Anne replied, "The Panty Fairy came and left us presents"!

• After putting her children to bed, a mother changed into old slacks and a worn out blouse and proceeded to wash her hair. As she heard the children getting more and more rambunctious, her tolerance grew thin. At last she put a towel around her head and stormed into their room, putting them back to bed with severe warnings. While leaving the room, she overheard her three-year-old say with a shaky voice, "Who was 'that'?"

Some Humuor

MY MOM TAUGHT ME...

All the mothers in each part of the world lovingly try to teach their kids some of life's most important lessons so that they could successfully face the difficulties of life and at the same time also enjoy the life. But despite all the efforts made by mothers in the end, little brats just end up growing into bigger brats without learning a thing. Still mothers are satisfied that at least they tried their best to teach their children something along the way. Thanks, to all the mothers!

My Mother taught me about ANTICIPATION...
"You should just wait until your father gets home."

My Mother taught me about RECEIVING....
"You should know that you are going to get it when we get home!"

My Mother taught me to MEET A CHALLENGE...
"What were you thinking about? You should answer me when I talk to you! You should not talk back to me!"

Mother taught me MEDICAL SCIENCE...
"If you do not stop crossing your eyes, they are going to freeze that way."

My Mother taught me to THINK AHEAD...
"If you do not pass your spelling test, you would never be able to get a good job."

My Mother taught me HUMOR...
"When that lawn mower cuts off your toes, don't come running to me."

My Mother taught me how to BECOME AN ADULT...
"If you don't eat all your vegetables, you would never grow up and always remain a kid."

Mother taught me about GENETICS...
"You are just like your father."

Mother taught me about WISDOM OF AGE...
"You would understand me only when you get to be of my age"

My Mother taught me about JUSTICE...
"One day you will have kids, and I hope they turn out to be just like you...Then only you will see what it is like!"