Whether we realize it or not, our words affect our children’s future for either good or evil. Our words have the same kind of power that Isaac’s words had. We need to speak loving words of approval and acceptance, words that encourage, inspire, and motivate our children to reach for new heights. When we do that, we are speaking blessings into their lives. We are speaking abundance and increase. We’re declaring God’s favor in their lives.
But too often, we slip into being harsh and critical with our children, constantly finding fault in something our children are doing. “Why can’t you make better grades? You didn’t mow the lawn right. Go clean your room--it looks like a pigpen! You can’t do anything right, can you?”
Such negative words will cause our children to lose the sense of value God has placed within them. As parents, we do have a responsibility before God and society to train our children, to discipline them when they disobey, to lovingly correct them when they make wrong choices. But we should not constantly harp on our kids. If you continually speak words that discourage and dishearten, before long you will destroy your child’s self-image. And with your negative words, you will open a door, allowing the enemy to bring all kinds of insecurity and inferiority into your child’s life. Millions of adults today are still suffering as a result of the negative words their parents spoke over them as children.
Remember, if you make the mistake of constantly speaking negative words over your children, you are cursing their future. Moreover, God will hold you responsible for destroying their destiny. With authority comes responsibility, and you have the responsibility as the spiritual authority over your child to make sure that he feels loved, accepted, and approved. You have the responsibility to bless your children.
Beyond that, most children get their concepts of who God is and what He is like from their fathers. If their father is mean, critical, and harsh, inevitably the children will grow up with a distorted view of God. If the father is loving, kind, compassionate, and just, the child will better understand God’s character.
One of the reasons I talk so much about the goodness of God is because I saw it modeled by my dad. Nobody could have represented God any better to us Osteen kids than my dad did. Even when we made mistakes or got off track, while Daddy was firm, he was also loving and kind. He nurtured us back to the right course. He never beat us into line; he loved us into line. Although he was very busy, he always took time for us. He encouraged us to do great things, to fulfill our dreams. He used to say, “Joel, don’t do what I want you to do. Do what you want to do. Follow your own dreams.”
Daddy believed in my brother and sisters and me. He told us we were great, even when we knew we weren’t. He referred to us as blessings when we knew we weren’t acting as blessings. Sometimes we’d make him mad, and he’d say, “I’m about to beat a little blessing to death!”
Mother and Daddy raised five children in our home. When we were growing up, we didn’t have children’s church programs such as many churches now have. We all met in the same auditorium. My little sister, April, and I used to sit on the front row of that little feed store that held about two hundred people. We’d play tic-tac-toe the whole service. (I’m confessing to let you know there’s still hope for your children. I didn’t pay attention, and God made me a pastor. Who knows what God is going to do with your children!)
Daddy would be up on the platform, and Mother would have all five of us kids lined up in a row. She’d have her hands raised in the air, worshiping God with her eyes completely closed. Yet she had an incredible ability, even with her eyes closed, to know when we kids were cutting up. That amazed me. I think that was my first experience with the supernatural power of God! I’d watch Mother to make sure that her eyes were closed before I’d do something to aggravate my brother, Paul. Without missing a beat, Mother would slowly bring one hand down, very gracefully grab my arm, and pinch the fire out of me! I wanted to scream, but I knew better.
And then she’d lift that arm back up and continue worshiping the Lord.
I used to think, Mama, you have a gift. That’s supernatural!
I’m joking (a little), but the point is my siblings and I were not perfect kids. We made plenty of mistakes. But my parents never focused on our weaknesses or on the problems. They always focused on the solutions. They constantly told us we were the best kids in the world. And we grew up secure, knowing that our parents not only loved each other, but they loved us and believed in us. They were going to stand behind us through thick and thin. We knew they were never going to criticize or condemn us, but would always believe the best in us.
Because I grew up with acceptance and approval from my parents, now, as a father myself, I’m practicing the same sort of thing with my children. I’m speaking words of blessing into their lives that will be passed down to another generation. And I know my children will pass down the goodness of God to their children, and on and on.
One of the first things I do when I see my little boy Jonathan, in the morning is to say “Jonathan, you’re the best.” I’m constantly telling him, “Jonathan, you are God’s gift to Mother and me. We love you. We’re proud of you. We’ll always stand behind you.” I tell our daughter, Alexandra, the same sort of things.
Before they go to bed, I tell both of our children, “Daddy will always be your best friend.” Victoria and I constantly tell them, “There’s nothing you can’t do. You have a bright future in front of you. You’re surrounded by God’s favor. Everything you touch is going to prosper.”
Victoria and I believe that we have an opportunity and a responsibility to speak God’s blessings into our children now, while they are young. Why should we wait till they are teenagers, or in their twenties and about to get married, to begin praying for God’s blessings in their lives? No, we’re declaring God’s blessings over them all the days of their lives. And we are convinced that our words will impact our children long after they are grown and have children of their own.
What are you passing down to the next generation? It’s not enough to think it; you must vocalize it. A blessing is not a blessing until it is spoken. Your children need to hear you say words such as, “I love you. I believe in you. I think you’re great. There’s nobody else like you. You are one of a kind.” They need to hear your approval. They need to feel your love. They need your blessing.
Your children may be grown and gone, but that shouldn’t stop you from picking up the phone to call and encourage them, to tell them you are proud of them. Maybe you didn’t do well at blessing your children as they were growing up. It’s not too late. Start to do it now.
-James Lau
You may think that this is irrelevant. But let us widen our horizons and see a bigger picture. We may be just teenagers and not even close to being a parent yet. Just take this as a lesson to be learned to prepare us for the future.
Some of us readers may even experience a childhood that you never want to look back upon. The words your parents had spoken, those harsh words that are still kept somewhere in your heart that you choose to ignore. And it hurts everytime it comes flying back.
Some of us never hear our parents saying those 3 words that means a lot to us. "I love you."
There might be a minority that wishes they had better parents.
Do you know that all these can affect you when you become a parent one day?
How about making this relevant to us, now.
What we say and do to our friends and family affects them and sometimes even we ourselves will be affected.
Ask yourself, what your friends and family said to you that affected you? And are you picking on others just cause some time ago, friends and family picked on you?You feel very good after doing so, why?
Take for example, people used to comment on how bad you dress. Then you develope this same habit and say to other people.
"I used to be fat, and people around make fun of me. At first i take it as a joke, but sooner it made me more conscious of my body. So i chose to take those words as a challenge and i achieved my goal of becoming fit. Then, when i was fit and no longer fat i commented on others(fat people) forgetting i once was in their shoes. I came to my senses and realised it hurt me then and i do not want to do the same thing to others."
-annonymous
"My parents called me useless and stupid. It takes only one time, and it affected me. Really bad. I used to be a student with excellent results, but since then i did not do well. I dont know if i'm taking revenge or those words just spoke volume and i took it seriously. I'm learning to forgive my parents and myself too and not taking it into account."
-annonymous
"My dad is a hot-tempered man. Because of him, i hate all man.(boys included) I've been putting up with his temper for a very long time. and i gave up. although i still believe that God exist and that He is my heavenly father. but i just couldnt...for my earthly dad. I involved myself in lesbianism, because i have given up hope for all man. they are simply useless in my world. I know that it is wrong but i'm still searching until i find answers i will not change."
-annonymous
Friends, just a word of advice. Think before you speak. ;)
adding to it, actions speaks louder than words.
God bless you.
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